I do so solemly swear that I will never post in anger.
I don't feel it would be very healthy to do so. Thinking back to my pathetically tortured attempts at journal keeping in high school, and all associated emo poetry, I just feel I should hold off on writing publicly if I'm angry.
Instead, I'm going to quote an exchange I just had via SMS.
Me: I'll practise my best Miranda Priestly to unleash on them.
A: Miranda Priestly scares me quite a bit.
Me: She's fantastic. Hearing Meryl Streep talk about her is like listening to Jesus talk about god, but better.
A: Hearing Meryl Streep talk about anything is like listening to Jesus talk.
Me: Oh god, does that mean Meryl Streep *is* Jesus?
A: Hmmm
This is, of course, a relevant time to link to The Onion and remind ourselves that Jesus was judged.
Today's blasphemy has been brought to you by Meryl Streep's unparallelled awesomeness.
Wednesday 7 March 2012
Friday 2 March 2012
To which I call bullshit
You've probably already heard about the US hate-group styling itself "One Million Moms" (OMM, for this post). It's an off-shoot of the American Family Association (AFA) that pits Real Mothers against The Homosexualists. They recently got upset that lesbians had invaded JC Penney. Known lesbian and JC Penney spokesperson, Ellen Degeneres, later laid the verbal smackdown on OMM on her show. She is badass in an adorable and non-confrontational way.
Lately, OMM have targetted the much-loved Archie comics because two of their male characters recently married and the comic featuring the wedding would be sold openly at Toys'R'Us.
Apparently:
At this point, I call bullshit. Children are certainly introduced to topics of sexuality at young ages. My younger cousins had "boyfriends" in pre-school. Any time my brother mentioned even talking to a girl in primary school, our father would grin and make teasing comments. Every goddamn fucking fairytale I heard as a child ended with the boy getting the girl. Is this not introducing "issues of this nature"?
Of course not, silly! We're talking about teh gayz, here. Exposing young children to overtly heterosexual narratives is so prevalent because all children are straight, right? We can't let them think being anything other than straight and cis-gendered is normal until they're old enough to decide that being straight and cis-gendered is exactly what they want to be!
The main problem that vexes the pro-queer community is that groups like OMM tend to focus the discussion on what I like to call "gay man buttsex". They hear the word "gay" and immediately think of scandalously immoral acts that take place in the dead of night in a back alley and no one brought a condom*. The entire discussion is drowned out by the very real fear that we want to expose children to sexual acts.
Well, no. Again, bullshit. We don't want to talk about sex. We want to talk about love. We want children to know that if you love someone, it doesn't matter what gender they are. It doesn't matter what they have on their outsides, it doesn't matter what they have on their insides. All that matters is that you love them.
Can we get love on a front page?
*If you like barebacking in dark alleys, more power to you!
Lately, OMM have targetted the much-loved Archie comics because two of their male characters recently married and the comic featuring the wedding would be sold openly at Toys'R'Us.
This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary.
At this point, I call bullshit. Children are certainly introduced to topics of sexuality at young ages. My younger cousins had "boyfriends" in pre-school. Any time my brother mentioned even talking to a girl in primary school, our father would grin and make teasing comments. Every goddamn fucking fairytale I heard as a child ended with the boy getting the girl. Is this not introducing "issues of this nature"?
Of course not, silly! We're talking about teh gayz, here. Exposing young children to overtly heterosexual narratives is so prevalent because all children are straight, right? We can't let them think being anything other than straight and cis-gendered is normal until they're old enough to decide that being straight and cis-gendered is exactly what they want to be!
The main problem that vexes the pro-queer community is that groups like OMM tend to focus the discussion on what I like to call "gay man buttsex". They hear the word "gay" and immediately think of scandalously immoral acts that take place in the dead of night in a back alley and no one brought a condom*. The entire discussion is drowned out by the very real fear that we want to expose children to sexual acts.
Well, no. Again, bullshit. We don't want to talk about sex. We want to talk about love. We want children to know that if you love someone, it doesn't matter what gender they are. It doesn't matter what they have on their outsides, it doesn't matter what they have on their insides. All that matters is that you love them.
Can we get love on a front page?
*If you like barebacking in dark alleys, more power to you!
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